“The invitation,” Diane said, “is to listen for what message your soul needs for this season.” I and the other retreat participants were then invited to choose a piece of wood and paint that message onto the board. Paint?! I am not a color person. Figuring out what color goes with what is difficult for me. Putting something as permanent as paint onto something as permanent as a piece of wood was terrifying.

I trusted Diane and decided to give it a try. I painted the board silver as background. As I filled the surface with color, I felt my body relax into the movement. By the time the silver was dry and ready for lettering, I had some more confidence. I showed it to the others and someone suggested a border, so I painted that, too.

By the time I finished, another phrase was bubbling up in me, so I decided to make another one. For this one, I chose a board with rich color and a nice grain. I drew guidelines and sketched out the lettering before painting.

When I got home, I put the first up on a shelf in my living room. The second I worked on finishing, since I didn’t finish it at the retreat. That one lived on a bookshelf in my bed room for a while. These stayed around until I moved a couple years later. I didn’t look at them every day. I noticed them every now and again. When I did, I had one of several reactions:

I remembered the retreat.

I told myself “I made that!”

I judged the artwork.

I took in the message.

I took in the message enough that over the years since then, I have used this practice in times of difficulty or transition. Sometimes it’s a phrase; sometimes it’s a single word. What I’ve painted has never been a specific task to complete each day or each week. The message is about how I desire to be in the world – what presence I offer to myself and others.

I want to be someone who honors the voice within her, who speaks her truth, who accepts what is, who looks to the future with joy.

I still have those first two boards. They sat in a box for several years, and I took them out again a few months ago. One I lent to a friend for a particularly difficult season in their life. One I used for a while, then tied to a tree in the woods near where I lived. One I left on a short wall in front of a stranger’s house. I have driven past since then and noticed it still there. Seeing it there gives me joy.

Courage is my latest message. I don’t mean grand escapade kind of courage. I mean everyday courage. The courage to say no when I mean it. The courage to state my desires out loud to another person. The courage to create. The courage to share that creation with the world.

May you, dear reader, hear what message your soul needs in this season.